Job Done :)

The day finally arrived to take Blake to hospital, nerve's were kicking in even though it was just Admission day, just the thought of driving there was making me feel sick. I spent Sunday packing Blake's Bag, then repacking it, hoping not to forgot anything then when we got to hospital I remembered we had forgotten Blakes mouse, I could have kicked myself!!! the one thing I wanted to remember 'Blake's comforter.' We got a lovely gift for Blake from my cousin Leeann  it brought a tear my eye, so sweet, it was a cute monkey with a t-shirt that had his full name on with the slogan '1 special brave boy' I decided to hang it from his cot!

We were shown to our own room on the Sarum ward at Salisbury Hospital, it was a beautiful ward, room number 7 there were a few other families on the ward and it really pulls on your heart strings to see poorly children! I just kept thinking to myself  'he's in good hands he's in good hands'  We were given a tour of the ward  to refresh our memories of where things were again, we then settled into our room, over the next few hours we had many people pop in and introduce themselves, from nurses to the doctors that would be working on Blake in theatre, we also found out that is surgery was going to be at 10.30am Tuesday morning and not 3pm Tuesday afternoon! so that was a snippet of good news in away.

Chris stayed with us as long as he could, and we both had lots of cuddles with Blake and we took some lovely pictures throughout the day and of course all the nurses fell in love with our little chap! but it soon turned to the evening and he had to get home get some sleep and be back for the morning, well that was the plan, I got a text message from him telling me he couldn't get any cash as the cash machine as it was broken the poor love had to walk to the petrol station to get some money so he could get out of the car park! he had to walk a fair way he was shattered when he got home. I didn't sleep much at all I could hear a child screaming and crying next door... poor little love, too many things whizzing around in my thoughts didn't help either!

It was now the Surgery day! I woke up to Blake happily playing in his cot he seemed really happy, unaware of what the day was bringing, I was so worried and very emotional but holding it together as well as I could. All I wanted was to give Blake as many cuddles as I could. Blake wasn't aloud any milk after 4am so I gave him his last feed at 3.30am his last feed with his cleft. I was also able to give him water up until 8am but he was not impressed with that!  It was hard not being aloud to give him anything but he seemed to settle when Chris arrived! and maybe that had something to do with daddy bringing Mr Mousy with him lol as 10am approached we both became little nervous and I kept saying to Chris hes going to be OK isn't he? 10.30am arrived and we were still waiting... we received lots of messages on Facebook and texts from family and friends it was wonderful to have such brilliant support!

Every knock at the door made use look up wide eyed! till finally we got the knock we were waiting for...
'Mr Cadier and his team are ready for you now!' it was his registrar, she asked us a few questions then took us to theatre, She asked who would be going with Blake we looked at each other and I said that I wanted to go, I wished it could have been us both but my motherly instinct just took over.... I held my beautiful boy in my arms safe and close as the mask was placed over his mouth, he looked at me.. then drifted out of consciousnesses, i'm not going to lie or play this down as I placed him on the table myself  I felt like my heart was being squeezed from inside out! I felt guilt, not being able to stay and hold his tiny hand it was horrendous... he was in good hands was all I could think to stop my knees from buckling like Bambi. I suppressed all my emotions and held it together till we got back to the ward room, I felt physically sick. We hugged for a while and I let a few tears go. We were in for a long wait the registrar said it would be around 4 hours, as they were repairing the soft palate as well as his lip. They said that they would call the ward when he was awake.

We decided to have a wonder down to the hospital restaurant, we didn't know what to do with our time, we had food and a coffee, we played a game to take our minds off things I saw Vinnie Jones enter the cafe! and that became our game, of course it wasn't the real Vinnie! we then kept our eyes open for famous looky likey's it made us both laugh... nobody topped Vinnie Jones though! We went back to the ward to wait... it felt like days. Finally just after 4pm there was a knock at the door, we were told we could go collect our little boy.....oh my gosh I was so nervous... Me and Chris held hands tightly as we walked to recovery.

It was  SHOCK to see him I was lost for word he looked very swollen and bloody, They said I could hold him and  that the op went well but it went in one ear and out of the other I just wanted him in my arms, he was very drugged up. I studied his face his eye lashes were all wet so I knew he had been crying! my poor little man. He was covered in blood and bruises which was quite scary. There were whimpers every now and again, he was well that's all that mattered, I was so proud of my boy. We had to wait for about 20 minutes before we could take him back on the ward. It was overwhelming and I welled up and had some tears , I looked over at Chris and he had welled up as well.... Our little man looked absouloutly gorgeous they had done a fantastic job you could see that even under the blood. I don't know how to express my gratitude! Thank you Mr Cadier and his wonderful team.

So many emotions were in the air it had been a long day, the registrar explained that the glue holding the stitches was not the normal type the use it was usually a light blue but Blakes was bright purple! everybody thought it was a bruise, his face was very swollen and sore but he looked amazing and he was tired so he went to sleep for a while we had loads of support from friend and family it did become a bit much though and I had to switch my phone off. Blake was on a fluid drip, and the nurses g,ave him drugs every two hours as well as morphine in the night.... Blake was doing so well he's my brave little solider. It was a very long night and I didnt sleep much for worry. I just waited for the morning to come.

I woke around 7.30am got dressed and went to the kitchen when I got back to the room Blake was awake !! and guess what I got  little smile!!! bless him it was amazing I felt truly blessed to have such a wonderful son.
Later in the day Chris's sister came to visit with Tia! it was lovely to see her i'd missed her so much and she clearly missed me I got a great big huggle! Tia wanted to see Blake, Clare gave him a cuddle first then she knelt down and the look on Blakes face when he saw Tia made my heart burst he beamed at her  'well as much as he could'  he was so pleased to see her it brought tears to my eyes again, Tia stroked and patted his head gently then said   'awwww..... Blakey got his lip now mummypig!'

It had been a very long day but Blake was doing very well Mr Cadier came and was pleased with him I told him he had done a wonderful job, that man deserves a throne in heaven. Thank you so much.
A friend came to visit and brought some flowers she thought Blake looked amazing!  It had been three days but it felt like three weeks! I was ready to go home with my son, We were hoping we would be aloud to take him home the next day, but it all depended on Blake taking his milk which he was finding difficult. He was eating solids though as I had started to ween him a couple of weeks before surgery, so I just kept trying with the bottle, but give up when he got upset I didn't want to force it and cause him stress he been through enough in my book I just prayed he would pick up in the morning. which thankfully he did! he had ready break first then he managed to take 40 ml of milk from his bottle, I was so pleased. the cleft nurse came (Nicola Hudson whom is also wonderful) came to see us again she said we were aloud to go home!!! I rang Chris with the good news!

we are at home now. I would like to say a MASSIVE ' Thank You to the nurses from the Sarum Ward at Salisbury Hospital they were absouloutly fantastic with Blake.'

To Mr Cadier 'Thank you for making my boy Even more Gorgeous its a fabulous repair.'

To Friends and Family ' you all kept me strong thank you for the over whelming love and support you all gave xxx'


This journey is not over yet..........