So now I was taken to my own private room, and Chris held Blake and gave his little man a cuddle! we were so blessed our family unit complete. I was so pleased the labor was over it was all very quick after my waters broke I think I was in shock Chris said I had a funny turn in the delivery room, Chris told me to get into bed and have a nap and that he would stay and sort Blake out for me I was so lucky to have a wonderful partner and new baby boy. I napped for about 30 minutes then Chris had to go home hes was exhausted too.
So as I sat alone holding my new born baby, I thought about all he had to face in the coming years, it was emotional, during my pregnancy I thought it be best to imagine the worst outcome that way I would be prepared for what Blake may look like, but what ever the outcome I wasn't bothered as I knew i'd love him whatever. What I thought about while holding him was the thought of his tiny body undergoing surgery. Its a scary thought, I just viewed it as another obstacle we will face as a family.
I spent four days in Salisbury hospital in my own room the Midwives were brilliant, I wasn't aloud home till feeding was established, I took to the new bottles well and so did Blake. I wanted to give Blake my own breast milk so I expressed, it was very hard work and it made me very tired seemed like all I did was feed and express milk, the midwives were impressed with my determination apparently I was the talk of the ward, Me and my beautiful Cleft baby! the midwives loved Blake and when they could see I was in need of sleep they took him and watched him for me. I was so thankful as I wasn't sleeping much.
Chris brought Tia to see her baby brother she was happy he was finally here and wanted a cuddle! it was so lovely and she already wanted to help change his bottom! Mum and Dad came to visit in the afternoon, it was overwhelming as I could see my mum was nervous as she held Blake I could tell she was upset, but she was hiding it well but I could feel it, not because of how he looked, she was upset that he was going to have a lot to contend with in his life I know she wished it hadn't happened to him. It is scary knowing your baby will have to have several surgeries throughout his childhood. The next day she visited she was different she said 'come on give me my Grandson!' She later told me she had been to see my Auntie Dawn and talked with her! whatever she said made my mum happier and that made me happy. Everyday I fell more in love with my baby boy and it was time to go home, I had a few visits beforehand from the Cleft nurses who gave me advice and some more special bottles they were happy with our progress they gave me an electric breast pump which was brilliant as I was keen to use my milk as long as I could.
All the midwives came to say goodbye.... I was really cared for during my stay so I asked Chris to get a card and a present for them to say thank you ! I new that Mum and Dad were going home this very evening I was a little upset but I knew they had to go home, My Mum has terrible back pain and was not feeling too well and Dad was full of cold and worried about passing it on, but I new I was going to be visiting Yorkshire soon, when we got home Mum was cooking us Dinner it smelled divine I was starving, we all enjoyed our last meal together them they got ready to leave, we said our goodbyes and waved them off. We were alone now with our two children, Tia was in bed and Blake was snoozing in his Moses's basket. Me and Chris had our first proper hug......... it was lovely as the bump gone. :)
The next few weeks went in a blur visits from the midwives and Cleft nurses and then health visitors it was all go! Blake failed his hearing test in his left ear, he had to have a another test done using a more sophisticated piece of equipment, and we were pleased that he passed with flying colours! as we were worried he may be deaf as his cleft is to the left it was quite possible! Another weight lifted... People were starting to ask questions on Facebook wondering why there were no pictures, so we decided to post some and let everybody know! the comment and support were wonderful from everyone I was so proud of my little bruiser. Eve came to visit and brought Blake a present She said he was beautiful, she told us that everyone had been thinking about us and they had been praying, I really believed it helped as I actually had a good labor. I told Eve that Tia wasn't settling at night so she took her upstairs and Blessed the room, for the first time in a week she actually went to bed and slept peacefully it was amazing!! Eve is Amazing! I wish I could put her in my pocket and carry her everywhere!
We received a letter from the Hospital, a meeting was set up for us to meet the rest of the Cleft team and the surgeon Mr Cadier this was on 27th July it went really well Mr Cadier seemed happy with Blakes progress and he also told us a bit about the operation, he told us he would fix the lip and soft palate at the same time and that the op would take about three hours. he said we would get a surgery date within eight to ten weeks time! After six weeks I made the decision to start giving Blake formula milk as I just wasn't producing enough of my own milk, and all I seemed to be doing was feeding then expressing. It was very hard work and I was becoming very tired I spoke to my health visitor about my decision, and she said I did well to go that long so I am proud I did what I could So now I can give the pump back to the Clapa team!
Waiting for that letter... played on our minds as it seemed to be taking ages, everyday we would wait for the post, it would drop through the door then .. nothing! I started to worry and well I moaned a lot to Chris in the end I think he was wondering why we hadn't herd anything. So he decided to ring our Cleft nurse and see what was happening and he did this the day the letter came through the door! strange! The surgery usually takes place from three and half months, our surgery date is 15th November at 3.00pm! We also have to go in on the 19th October for another meet and greet with Mr Cadier to look around the ward and have another check up. Blake will be two days off being five months old when he has his surgery. We are excited that we have a date... but were also sad as we love our Blake just the way he is! he has the most beautiful biggest smile in the world.
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