Three years later ....

Hello everyone, it's been a long time since my last post, and as you can image a lot has happened in the past three years. The start of Covid was all bit crazy!  the brace process with the Orthodontist was going amazing. We have had Weddings, Birth's and a loss. Lockdown was hard for every one.

Xander started in Reception, Which was pretty much online for the first part. I think we were glad when we had a bit more normality, Blake was amazing during the first lock down and raised £210 for cleft lip and palate association using Facebook. 

Then in the second lockdown he raised another 400+ by doing a series of challenges! He did a running challenge, doughnut challege, circuit challenge with his school, a kickboxing challenge with his Instructor Vicki who was amazing! 

He then did a football challenge with his coach Andy who suggested a penalty challenge for Blake, Andy took the position as goaly,  Blake had to score as many goals as he could in two minutes! his coach didn't go easy on him for me the best thing was watching all his team mates encourage and support him.

The last was the best and based on i'm a celebrity, so It was a food challenge. We live streamed most of the events. Blake had a great time doing this for CLAPPA. 

Eating Challenge.

Doughnut Challege.

Football Challenge. 11 goals in 2 minutes! 2021.

The kids were amazing during the lockdown I am such a proud mum. 

As I said previously so much had happened and one of the best things was finding a best friend bam smack in the middle of everything going on,  Leanne is her name and she has been a massive support. Well we looked after each other.  I have to mention Sharon who has been with me throughout and has been amazing she hosted some of Blakes Challenges and is always ready for anything and any occations! I love them so much.

We also celebrated the Birth of Leanne's gorgeous girl Ariana. My Husband Chris was Best Man at his best friend Tristan and Sarah's Wedding! A beautiful day. When I said we had a loss, well that was out Beautiful Cat Theo. He sadly became very ill and we think had a stroke. Unfortunately we had to put him to sleep. We were all so devastated. We miss him so much. 

Me, Leanne, Ariana and my beautiful Tià.

So from my last post I told you all how Blake was getting on with his braces.. 

I can honestly say they have been amazing and the Orthodontist did an amazing job and was absolutely incredible with Blake to the point where he was happy to go see her over the year Blake got to choose different colour bands at all his appointments he had Red and White, Blue and Green and multicoloured. 

Salisbury Hospital, during lockdown. First meeting with the Orthodontist team.

Blake having his brace tightened and bands changed. Salisbury Hospital. 2021

It got to the point that his front tooth had straitened enough for the next step of Blakes journey,  The Bone Graft.

We had another Orthodontist appointment at Salisbury Hospital we got to meet Blake's new Surgeon, and we were told Blake was ok to have his Brace removed as it was all looking good. This meant the Bone Graft would de the next step... 

Salisbury Hospital, brace off 2021.

We got the call....about a month later telling us there was an opportunity to have his Bone Graft surgery with his new surgeon, but the operation would have to be in Oxford!! At John Radcliffe Hospital, there had been a cancellation and Blake was coming up next on the list. We had to make a decision pretty fast or we would lose the spot. We asked Blake and he was happy to go ahead. But as it got closer he got nervous and a little scared but we did all we could to reasure him. 

On the day we had to arrive very early with a lot of waiting, but we were eventually given a room, Chris had to stay in a hotel as only one parent could stay. Blake made himself at home, he brought his pillow, and his games and his big Gorilla Bruce ! 

Blake was 11 at the time of his Bone graft so for me this was harder than all the other surgical procedures. He was completely aware of what was going on. The process was explained in detail. Bone marrow would be taken from his thigh bone and placed into the cleft in his gum, the Bone marrow would fuse and hopefully turn into bone, and the goal would be his front tooth being able to come through. 

They told us Blake wouldnt be able to do sports for Six weeks! he had to be very carful. This was a bit of a blow as he loves his sport's. After the six weeks Blake really struggled with his fitness, Blake does Football, Swimming and Kickboxing as well as School sports. It took him quite a while to get his fitness back up. 

Blake's recovery from the Surgery was incredible he had bit of a limp and struggled to get about at first,  his face was quite swollen, and he had to be on a soft food for a few weeks, but the medication helped with the swelling and Pain. The staff were amazing and the hospital was great We couldnt be more grateful for everything they did. Blake recoved in time for Christmas.

John Radcliffe, Bone Graft 2021.

John Radcliffe, after Bone Graft surgery, 2021.

A few moths later in 2022 we recieved an appointment for a check up, Blake's surgeon was very please with the results. Then a few months down the line we had to go back and see the Orthodontist she was pleased with the progress of his teeth he has the usual xrays. There was a possibility Blake might have to have another small surgery as one of his teeth hadn't erupted.

We went to another check up in 2023 and had all the checks again, but this time he had pictures, which does make me chuckle as the mouth piece makes him look like wallace. (Wallace and Gromet) The Orthodontist told us his tooth had erupted! Fantastic news no surgery.Blake has to now wait for he braces to be put back on which will be sometime in 2024.

Blake is turning into such a lovely boy he has just received his Black belt for Kickboxing! I'm so proud of him. He works hard on school and has a great set of friends around him. I cant believe he will be 13 in June! 

Thank you for reading!

What a year...

Hello everyone 

well what a year 2020 has been, so difficult for many people, we have has a few developments Blake has had a brace fitted during the first lockdown with the Orthodontist at Salisbury Hospital, It was a strange experience having to wear a mask and not being able to chat to people in the waiting area, when we were called in we has to sanatize our hand before entering the room. We were told there and then that they were hoping to fit the brace! so it was a bit of a shock for Blake! But he was so so brave. The orthodontist explained in detail to Blake about what she was going to do and asked him if he was ok for her to go ahead and if he has any questions. He said yes but asked if I was aloud to hold his hand! Bless him... still wants his mummy. 

They also asked blake what colour rubber bands he wanted on his brace there were lots to choose from, Blake chose bright blue (fortnight blue he called it) 

Blake was asked to were some big orange glasses he looked like a rock star. I held his hand while they started the fitting but we had to stop half way through as Blake got a little scared and uncomfortable so we took a breather to calm him down Icould see he had becomed a little stressed and overwhelmed, I could totally understand as it was thrust upon him at short notice and its quite an weird experience but he came around and carried on with a little bribary and persuasion. The Orthodontist was anazing so caring and calming and the assistant nurse was so good with Blake!

The reason for the brace is to prepare for Blake's bone graft which is due to happen hopefully next year. Blake has a couple of teeth growing in the wrong direction due to the cleft in his gum so they need to move the teeth forward in order for the surgeon to be able to get to the gum!

The Orthodontist explained Blake will need to eat soft foods for the week ahead and brushing teeth is so important but to be gentle around the brace, she let Blake see how he looked with a mirror, he seemed ok and even said he looked good! We were given some little boxes that contained wax which is to be used if he was to get sore or uncomfortable because of the brace rubbing on his lip, we were advised there would be some pain and so to give him calpol to ease it off. She told us we will be having regular check ups and the nxt on would be few weeks!

When we left we went to get a drink and something soft to eat. 

To be honest I was a little shocked by it all as it all happened so fast...

We sent a picture to his dad! Who was as shocked as I was. Sent a thumbs up, I thought blake looked great and you couldn't really tell Blake seemed happy.

Since then we have had several check ups to tighten the brace and they changed the rubber bands the next set was green and blue and so far so good the tooth at the front has turned and come forward its so facinating to see. The Orthodontist took some pictures as well to show the progress so far to his Surgeon which we leaned was now a different one. To take the pictures they had to put a moth spacer in which was hilarious he looked like Wallace from the show wallace and Grommet. 

The Orthodontist wants us to meet the new Surgeon and arranged for us to attend the next clinic which was december. She also told us that she thinks the new Surgeon may want her to extend the brace into two more teeth and we will find out when we meet her.

Blake hasn't had much discomfort thankfully I think we used the wax once so far he has not complained about it once ! His friends only noticed at school when he showed them and they have all been really supportive! 

Unfortunately we didn't make the December meeting with the Cleft Team as a child in Blake's class tested positive for Covid! So we has to isolate for 14 days! Which was incredibly frustrating a few days before our meeting! Bit of a set back. We thankfully were able to arrange for the January but as things are going due to the National lockdown were not sure if it will be cancelled but fingers crossed it will go ahead. Blake also has has a grommet fall out so I will have to keep my eyes in his hearing again! Couldn't believe how tiny they are!

We had a great Christmas despite the rubbish year!! We're all hoping 2021 will get better we all need to stay safe. Hold onto those you love and try our very best to keep positive. It's going to be hard being mum and teacher again ahhh the thought of it is so stressful. 

I will keep you all posted 

Hugs and kisses 

Stay safe.









Omg Blake is 9 this year!!!

Hello everyone!!

 It's been few years since my last post I can only apologise! Sometimes it is like being in a bob sleigh... moving way to fast down the track!

A lot has happened and if I lold you everything I will be writing all week long! So I will keep it as short as I can.

Blake has been having regular check ups with Salisbury hospital, since having Grommets fitted in both ears his hearing is so much better, and he is doing well in school his last parents evening went very well, I did come out of the room feeling proud as punch.

Last summer we went to cornwall for our family holiday! We stayed in launceston in a town house! We decided to ditch the tent that year. Our first morning there I noticed blood was all over Blake's left ear (this is his cleft side) I cleaned it up and didn't notice any cuts so came to the conclusion it must be something to do with his grommet.

We decided to pop to the local hospital in the town just to get it checked out, we didn't have to wait too long and the staff were amazing they decided to refer us over to the local medical centre. We saw a very nice doctor who explained the grommets were possibly on there way out he gave us some anti-biotics and sent us on our way which pleased the kids as we were going to loo bay for the rest of the day! It was a great holiday.

Blake's hearing dipped a little and his teachers also noticed so I made an appointment with hospital just to make sure it was all ok. While we were there I asked about Blake's bone graft as we hadn't heard anything since Blake had his grommets fitted, he's now 8 so it's nearing the usual time it can happen. The registrar said she would chase it up for us.

Halloween, bonfire night, Christmas and New years came and went and have been amazing ! I must say this year hasn't been half bad! My Mum and Dad have been living close by for nearly two years now! Kids love it lots of sleep overs, and quality time for them.

I had to phone the hospital in the end as I still had not recieved a letter and waiting is the worst thing ever, turned out they had our holiday house address on file still even though I asked for it to be removed, these things happen just glad I followed up.

We waited and recieved a surgical appointment with the cleft team which we attended today! 10.01.20. Blake was very nervous as he wasn't sure what was going to happen but he was amazing he listened carfully and asked questions and as always the team quickly put him as ease. (The Salisbury cleft team really are great)

Blake had to sit in a big green chair while his teeth were checked, they commented on his lovely clean teeth so that definitely made me smile I always tell him how important it is to have good teeth. They then asked Blake if they could do an Xrays to see what was going on with all his teeth inside something new for him to experience.

Blake insisted I go in with him, he did good and quickly realised it wasn't all that bad definitely a learning experience also as the team then explained what was what and what was where and what they wanted to do next!

So we have learned that the bone graft wont be till next year! He has to have an extra tooth removed which is hiding behind a front tooth! This will be happening on the 31.01.20 (Tia's birthday!) Then in April they want to fit him with a brace to straighten up that front tooth so they can then see the gap better! Blake was a trooper today really proud of him! He's definitely pleased the bone graft isn't happening yet! I am pleased we now know what will be happening this year!!

Guys! Can you believe Blake is 9 this year!!
Xander will be 4 this month and starting primary in September
Tià is 11 at the end of the month and my baby girl is going to BIG school..... I can't cope this isn't happening I actually feel a little freaked out by this.

Anyway I will keep you all posted and will have some splendid pictures with my next post thank you for reading it means a lot. I hope everyone is doing well much love to all your little and not so little ones !!

Hugs and kisses
Xxxx

Time waits for nobody

Its been just over a year since my last post! this is due to being so busy with family life, as you all will remember from my last post we were having a new addition to our family. We indeed had a very healthy baby Boy! So Blake was right again!!
After being induced at 37 weeks he was born on the 22nd January and he weighed 7lb 14oz everything went very well with no problems, there was no cleft palate. We named him Xander he is now 9 months and it has gone incredibly fast! all you need to do is blink and time has gone it stands still for nobody.

As a family we have had a grueling year with many sorrows sadly. This time I am finding my post difficult to write as I don't want to go into to much detail in fear of becoming too emotional. This year we have lost beloved family members. Me and my husband both lost out grandmothers within weeks of each other so it has been very emotional as you can imagine. The children were very close to them both and they were very special to them in their own different ways. It was hard to say goodbye to them we will miss them deeply. My mum and dad have been having serious health issues too, so I have been doing my best to be there for them but they are both on the mend hopefully and thankfully.

We have recently had Mum visit which has been fantastic being able to spend time together after such a difficult time has been wonderful for the children. We are hoping she will come down here to live next year, it is so hard being so far away. When people die it makes you realise how short life can be and how you should really live it. Cherish the people you love, because you never know what is around the corner.
Live laugh and love is a great quote that comes to mind.

So anyway some good things have also happened this year one was that we have we moved house!!! !!!
We have more space and a big garden for the kids to Play in all in time for Blake's 5th birthday party!! which went really well this year we had a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle theme! lots of friends and family came and it was so nice watching Blake running around and enjoying himself even Xander wore a cute baby vest to match the theme!

The children have coped really well with all the change, when Xander was born they were both fantastic we had no problems really maybe a little bit of squabbling between each other. Tia was like mummy no2 bless her but Blake wasn't too fussed to be honest I think he was 'playing it cool' he wasn't very interested but the day Xander started rolling over he got a little excited!! Xander started crawling at 7 months and is now cruising along furniture and using his push a long walker at 9 months. Blake likes playing with him now he can do more, I think their going to be close I am sure Blake will be very protective of his little brother as he gets older.

Blake is now in year 1 and he is doing really well, we recently had a parents evening and his new teacher loves his character and he is doing really well in maths his writing has come along since last year too. I think my only concern with Blake is that he has and uses different voices when he talks which kind of drives me nuts! but I think that is just part of his personality. Blake's speech seem to be fine he does struggle every now and then with his hearing, the hospital are great though and always see him if there's a change, but so far so good. We are waiting for his five year check appointment to come through, which will hopefully be soon.
Blake's teeth have come through nicely so far apart from the gum cleft where there appears to be one tooth that has grown behind. He hasn't had any wobbly teeth yet but all children are different Tia has lost a few baby teeth at this stage so its a question I can put forward at the meeting.

Although we have has some tough times this year there's been some good times to my cousin Charlene got married in the summer which we attended and it was a fabulous day! we wish her and her family the very best for their future! and my cousin Leela is getting married next week so we are all looking forward to that.

We are looking forward to Christmas this year in our new home and hopefully my mum and dad will be celebrating this year with us. We promise this time Chris wont be sick in a box in front of them on Christmas day and I wont fall asleep on the toilet!  *cringe* sorry this tends to happen when you haven't had a drink in a very very long time.

One thing this year has taught me is that you have to try stay positive because being negative gets you nowhere.

I wont leave my next post so long ! thank you for reading
love Mummypig.

Blink of an eye.

The future holds....

Hi there!

Well gosh where to start, so many things have happened that I don't think I can squeeze it all in without rambling! Probably should start with some good news we will soon have a new addition to our family! and no its not a dog or a cat and yes it is a BABY!!!!
Which was a surprise but a exciting one! and with it comes a funny story, believe it or not it was Blake who told me I was pregnant. We were having cuddles on the couch one day back in April and he was rubbing my tummy and he said ''Mummy you have a baby in your tummy'' I laughed and said no Blake but he insisted I was and we all had a giggle and Tia joined in teasing me too.
I shrugged it off and told Chris later on in the evening... to which he replied ''maybe hes like his mother!'' I thought about what he had said and did think I had been incredibly tired lately so I took a test about week or so later and could not believe it when it came back positive!!! Blake had been right....

Again it has been a struggle I am now 22 weeks and have been in and out of hospital having blood tests every week due to my Obstetric Colostasis. I had started itching early again so told the midwife at my 12 week scan. It was inevitable I would get it again and it was confirmed at 21 weeks so I have been put on medication to help protect the baby from stillbirth. The run up to my 20 week can was very stressful I was so nervous about it, but I didn't have that feeling I had when I was pregnant with Blake, but even so my hands were shaking when I went into the scan room.
I was feeling quite emotional so I was glad the children were at school for this one but they did both attend our 12 week scan which they found fascinating...
The sonographer could see I was stressed and asked why, so we explained about Blake and my last pregnancy she was very understanding and told us not to worry and she would check as best she could for a Cleft.

She did a detailed check of the baby, and zoomed into check the baby's lip, she told us she could not detect a cleft and that from her point of view the lip was OK, we could see on the large screen as she was showing us, I did become a little teary knowing this child wont have to go through what Blake has fills me with relief having to watch your child go through so much is heart wrenching. the Sonographer said she could not comment on the palate as they are unable tell from a normal scan. So we will just have to wait and see at the time of birth, but if it happens we can get through it with out a doubt.

I have to go back for scans and bloods now at 24, 28, 32 and 36 weeks to check the baby is OK. It is highly likely I will be induced early, so we are probably looking at another January Baby. I will be back at Salisbury hospital on the 23rd October for my 24 week scan. This pregnancy has been very different from my last two, I have not had any sickness which has been fantastic to be honest,  but it's not perfect I have been so ill and seem to be catching every virus going so no pregnancy glow unfortunately! stress doesn't help and there's a lot going around within our families, My mums not very well so we will be going to see her this October half term. Tia and Blake are really looking forward to that! hopefully we will get to see family and friends!

Anyway enough about me lets here a bit about our gorgeous Blake who has changed so much and come n in leaps and bounds over the past few months! hes like a proper little dude now! absolutely loves anything to do with superheroes, ninja turtles and lego! he had a fantastic 4th birthday with a Batman theme! he loved the cake I made him too, and of course he was dressed as the dark knight himself. Everyone had a fantastic time, he made a strong group of friends at pre school and they all attended the party so he was very happy.

So as you know when you turn 4 before September that only means one thing right! yes BIG SCHOOL!!!
Blake was accepted to the same school as Tia I must say he is doing fabulous I had no major problems taking him in on his first half day we went into class found his peg to hang his coat and put his juice cup away in the tray! he was a little nervous so I stayed for about ten minutes till he choose an activity then I sneaked out the door.
They started off with half days to settle in for a couple of weeks, then they stay till lunch then its full days, Blake seemed to cope really well. Some parents feel sad when there children start big school but all I can honestly say is I felt so so proud of him, all the issues I was told he might have due to his condition and he has proved everyone wrong! he's great at making friends, his speech is good considering the whole of his mouth was affected by his cleft and he is super confident and has a brilliant imagination. He has still got lots to learn and does seem a little behind with writing, but I have every confidence in him.
Don't get me wrong hes not perfect, he can be a cheeky monkey at times but my god does he make me laugh! and when he says ''MUMMY YOUR THE BEST COOKER EVER'' after dinner time well what can I say apart from.... ''go get your pudding then''  I love my children and cant wait for the new addition the question on everyone's lips is will it be  GIRL or a BOY?? according to Blake its a Boy !! I wonder if he will he be right again.

We unfortunately have had some sadness over the summer holidays which has had a massive impact on our family sadly our beautiful Candy had to be put to sleep as she became very unwell and there was nothing the vet could do to help her, she was found to have tumors in her spleen which had viciously spread very quickly to her liver. We had to tell the kids that Candy was very poorly and might not get better. When we got that phone call from the vet it broke our heats,Candy has been with us since Tia was a baby.
Chris and I made the decision to go and put her to sleep when we arrived we were taken to see her, she was lying in a create and looked so poorly.
Soon as she saw me she struggled to get up but seemed determined to came straight to me,  I could see she was in so much pain, but she wanted me to make fuss of her, We had cuddles for about ten minutes, and I couldn't help but sob it was so hard knowing what we had to do, then she got up and got back in the create. The vet asked if we wanted to be there while the put her to sleep  for me it was an easy answer as they was no way I would leave her and she passed away in my arms. We all miss her terribly and telling the children was just awful. We have had her cremated and that way the children know shes in a way still with us.
Blake went with his Daddy to collect her ashes two weeks later, when he got back he was so sad and said ''Mummy Candy isn't a doggy anymore'' and that really broke my heart all I could do was comfort him with a hug and tell him that I knew but at least she was now back home with us now.

Gosh feeling quite emotional now but to end this post on a positive note we have has some good news also!
I passed my driving test in the summer holidays and I just know my Auntie Dawn was with me in the back seat that day! We currently have Auntie Clare visiting which has been a god send to me with me being so ill.
Chris has also had a work promotion too! so lots of things have been happening. This year has flown by and it will be Christmas in the blink of an eye! one of the things I am really looking forward to is the School Christmas play I wonder how Blake will do !!
Don't worry I will keep you posted!

Thank you for reading!

lots of love
Mummypig.

                                 R.I.P Candy  'Addy' We loved you so much forever in our hearts!

Tis' the season....

Hello Everyone

Firstly I would like to wish everyone a Happy New year, and hope you all had a fabulous Christmas. It has been a few months since my last post and its been pretty busy with the obvious build up to Christmas. I got my two to write a little letter to Santa and told them both they could ask for three items that they really want!
Tia wanted a new Tiny tears, Sky high Tink and Snow globe maker. Blake told me he really really wanted a giant Spiderman! Buzz Lightyear and a new toy moter bike. Seemed easy enough to me, doable items! thank god, I am pretty organized when it comes to Christmas, I like to get a bargain so I will source for the best price! This year we were again unable to visit family and friends in Yorkshire so it was just us again but we will probably be visiting in February in the school holidays something to look forward too.

Something very unexpected happened before Christmas which was quite a surprise for me and my family! My Half sister got in touch! Whom I have not seen in 16 years although our first meeting was for only 20 mins and was the first time we met. We discovered we have been living 43 minutes away from each other! It has been a lot to take in and has been very emotional, but we have lots to catch up on and we are very similar and been through similar experiences, a pleasant surprise to learn I was a Auntie! to four gorgeous girls and two boys four of them are teenagers now, so I feel a little sad I have missed out on them growing up, but we cant control the past its the future that matters and its great for the children to have gained family. It has been great getting to know each other and was lovely to have them all over for Christmas day evening!
Tia and Blake got to meet their new cousins!

At the beginning of November I met up with a lovely Lady whom is also a mother of a Cleft child We live close but in separate villages her Daughter is at grammar school and doing very well! it makes me feel good to talk and meet with others that are able to understand what we have to go through.
We had a great conversation and the second time we met I got to met her beautiful Daughter and she got to meet Blake I feel I have made a good friend! so thank you Pippa for joining me for coffee :) its important to have support and someone to talk to. There has been lots of debating on the Cleft lip & Palate group, which I think is good people should be aloud an opinion but people need to remember not everyone feels the same way everyone is different but we are all going through the same and we need each other :)

Blake's been doing good at Pre-School and made lots and lots of friends he even has made a best friend called Finley I think its mainly they have the same interest and love for Marvel and Disney Cars they are both very cute! I love that his Pre-School do long observations and write everything down Blake's had a few reviews and I know he his progressing normally just like any other child and developing well and getting on with other children hes super confident and interacts well with his peers. He brought home a lovely Christmas card that they all made a foot print and to hand prints to create a reindeer image it looks fab and they were turned into real cards! I was impressed. I also filled in the online form for Primary school application!!! I cant believe my Blake starts school soon!!! He is ready for it but don't know if I am..... where did my baby go?

We have managed to dodge most of the horrible bugs and viruses going round this winter, but me and Chris got a nasty virus that laid us both out for a whole day... I got it first then Chris few weeks later, Blake was lucky I don't think he caught it it is sometimes hard to tell with Blake he seems to just get on with it... but I think he would have told us if he had it Few weeks went by and not so much as a sniffle in the house! I though yes nobody is ill for Christmas.... boy was I wrong.

Tuesday before Christmas Eve we had to go into Salisbury to pick up gifts for our Friends children, that morning Tia came and told me she had a headache, I asked if she felt ill and she said no it was just a headache, so I got the kids breakfast and drinks, Tia seemed fine after that I assumed she must have been hungry and maybe dehydrated.
When we arrived at Salisbury and went straight to Smyths Toy store, Tia helped me pick the presents but by the time we got back to the car she said her head hurt again poor Tia I told Chris I would get her some Calpol from town as we needed few more bits, so we got everything we needed and headed home Tia said she felt better and she helped me wrap up the gifts!

We decided to go take the gifts to our friends then get back and have Dinner, on our second visit Tia didn't seem well I took her temp and it was normal but she was shivering and then sick :(
We thought it best to go home, five minutes from leaving my friends I heard a noise and turned round and saw Tia having a fit in the back of the car, I screamed at Chris to stop the car, ran to her, I wasn't sure and though maybe she had been sick and was chocking, I checked her air way there was no sick her air way was clear she was having some sort of fit,I tried to hold her head steady so she didn't hurt herself.

 I was terrified and just kept talking to Tia, telling her I was there and if she could hear me. Chris rang 999 and Tia must have been fitting for 20 mins when she stopped its like she wasn't even there there are no words that can express how I was feeling.We just kept shouting her name to keep her awake. Poor Blake saw it all and he was very scared for his sister, and actually asked if she was dead! which freaked me out, as it shocked me, thankfully a lady stopped to help and she kept Blake talking and kept his focus on her and not what was going on in the back of the car.

When the ambulance arrived they took her and put her in the back, took her temperature and it was over 40 nearly 41c so it had rapidly spiked in the five minutes from leaving our friends, they suspected a febrile convulsion and assured me she was going to be OK, but were going to take her in as the said she could have a viral infection. Chris took Blake to our friends house, we thought it would be better as we didn't get our dinner and new he would be hungry. It took Tia a couple of hours to finally come round, it must have really taken it out of her. The first thing she said was ''Mummy has Santa been?'' bless her she didn't remember any of it, what a blessing! they took us to Sarum ward in Salisbury hospital..... Strange thing was we were meant to be there with Blake on that day for the his second lip surgery that was cancelled.

We got the all clear as Tia was doing well the next day the Doctor told us it could happen again if she gets a high temp or it might not ever happen, so we will have to keep eyes on her if she becomes ill again and she even got a visit from Father Christmas and his elves!! we all got a gift as well Blake could not believe it! he talked about it all day long Tia was discharged, so we went home to celebrate Christmas Eve, We got Santa's pie and drink ready and Rudolph's carrot! Tia and Blake scattered Reindeer food on the garden path and had hot chocolate before bed. We were all worn out so getting them off to bed was no trouble. I didn't sleep well at all for few days as I kept having flash backs I really hope it doesn't happen again.

Christmas Day was Brilliant and the kids really enjoyed it we had lots of family time and cuddles they both loved there gifts from us and they got what they wanted from Santa ;) We got Blake a bumble bee transformer car don't think its left his side he loves it ! Tia got a tablet and think her fingers were stuck to it. My sister came round that evening which was great she gave me a cuddle needed after everything. kids enjoyed seeing their cousins again and Blake was impressed with his new batman costume! Tia got Anna's coronation dress she looks beautiful in it and looked like a Princess.

So this next year is hopefully going to be great, new family members, new friends, new adventures for the kids! fingers crossed. I would just like to say Thank you to the Lady that stopped and helped us we never got her name! and Thank you to Vicki and David and the girls for seeing in he New Year with us!

hello 2015!

It's all gravy!

Hello Everyone!


Yesterday we had some fantastic new! We had an appointment with the cleft team to discuss Blake's next surgery. We decided on this at the previous appointment as I wanted to be absolutely sure the surgery was needed. So we set off to Salisbury hospital to meet Mr Cadier, got there a little late, but it was quite busy in the waiting room, Blake is more aware now when he is going to the hospital and kept saying he didn't want to see the doctors, but he was alright after I explained it was just a quick visit and that they were not going to be looking at his ears this time.

We didn't have to wait to long before Nicola (our cleft nurse) came to call us through, it's odd as I always feel a little nervous at that point but its something I cant really explain. Blake was nice and calm so he didn't seem worried at all. He sat on my knee in the room while Mr Cadier had a look at his lip, Straight away he told us he didn't think the surgery was necessary! that his lip looked great, he asked whether people commented or noticed, but in all honesty I don't get many comments anymore people don't usually see the scar although it more prominent in the winter time, not many people notice unless we point it out. Mr Cadier said his lip had definitely settled down since we last discussed the surgery option last year which was my initial thought and what a relief. Looks like its all gravy!

So it looks like Blake will be having Christmas dinner after all! :)

I am so glad we had this meeting, it would have been awful to wait till Christmas then find out it wasn't needed so lots of stress and worry avoided We have a fantastic Cleft team and appreciate them arranging this meeting for us. Mr Cadier said he will see Blake next when he is 5 year old and then see how his face has changed as to whether he needs the surgery later, which is a possibility.

I am so pleased he doesn't have to go through this surgery so close to Christmas... It wouldn't have been much fun for him and we all want our children to be happy as it is the season to be jolly!!
All I can do know is watch him grow and keep my eye on his ears for any ear infections and watch and listen to his speech for any changes, Blake has a great key worker at his pre-school watching over him so I will have help regarding this which is great. So far he is really enjoying his time away from Mummy he's making new friends and learning new things. I find myself feeling a little lost! I have been told he is very confident and I cant tell you how proud this makes me feel.

I look forward to writing my next post :) goodbye for now !

Keep on swimming!!

Hello everyone! its been a while since my last post! I do apologize It has been an incredibly busy few months. We had a visit to Yorkshire in February and ended up bringing my brother down for a while, which the kids loved! they really put Uncle John through the mill he became a human climbing frame, l but he didn't seem to mind. My brother is a fantastic cook and while he was down really helped me out, it was good having someone to talk and felt like we had some quality time as brother and sister its hard being so far away from family and friends I cant tell you what a joy it was to see my children bond with there Uncle. I was pretty sad when he decided to go back to Yorkshire few months later, but I am sure he will come visit again the kids really miss him, the other day Tia made me laugh ''Mummy I really miss Uncle John, but not his spicy curry.''

February was full of highs and lows one of my good friends passed away suddenly which came as a huge shock to everyone and she will be sadly missed she was a great support while I was pregnant with Blake.
Her family put on a beautiful service and I met some of her relatives and even bumped into 'Aunt Sally' who was my Auntie Dawns sister in law :( she said ''Jemma we must stop meeting like this'' I couldn't agree more.
So I would just like to say R.I.P Sandra I will think of you often xxxx

I must say Blake's words and sentences have been coming along beautifully hes doing so well, Tia has been a great help with this as shes really enjoying school. He likes to listen to her read her school books at bedtime.
His favorite book at the moment is The Gruffilo I think he likes the different accents that I do for the characters I am rather impressed with my SSSssssnake, SSSssssoooo SSSsssscary.
Blake's personality has dramatically changed since my last post he is a proper boy I blame Uncle John .... letting him watch Power Rangers HAHA.. Hes totally besotted with super hero's now Spiderman, Batman anything Marvel, but he also loves Scooby Doo, Bob the builder and Fire man Sam!

So as it was coming up to Blake's 3rd Birthday!! I know I cant believe where the times gone either, I needed a idea for his party I wasn't sure I could top the Mr Potato head theme. We decided to hire a bigger space this year as its just so hard having it at home, We got a fab place called Just dance studio where Tia goes to ballet, its such a brilliant space and there a gorgeous garden area which is an incredible space, so we decided on a Teddy bears picnic, We also thought a bouncy castle would really entertain the children which Uncle John paid for as his gift to Blake. I have to say it was a fantastic day. Blake had a great turnout its always a great time to see friends, we catered ourselves and I made the birthday cake with a teddy bear theme.

I cant tell you how stressed I was that day, I think I may have been over compensating... as I know that Blake is due his second lip op and this time he will be aware of whats going on. That a side all in all it was my favorite party yet. The kids slept very well that night :) We had Blake's party on the Saturday his birthday was on the 17th June he was pretty happy with his presents, especially the Scooby doo & batman DVD, We got him a new scooter as well his face was a picture.

Last year Chris took the kids to buy a tent on one of the days I went to visit my Auntie Dawn, they were not able to visit her in hospital as she was on a secure ward. I told her what they were up to she thought it was a great idea, we talked about when we went to Weymouth when we were little, which was one of the best holidays I  had as a child. We didn't go camping that summer. :( with her and my Uncle passing we wouldn't have enjoyed it.

I was thinking about her one evening and remembered we had bought the tent So me and Chris thought lets give camping a go only for one night just to see if the kids liked it, and if so we could go somewhere in the summer holidays! thankfully it went down really well and we booked 4 nights in Cornwall in Looe Bay, Mum used to tell me when I was little that she went there on holiday there as a child, and we thought what a great place to go in memory of Auntie Dawn, as our holiday was on the anniversary of her passing.

Unfortunately the weather wasn't looking great for the holiday as we were getting the aftermath from Hurricane Bertha! but we decided to still go rain or shine... and Bertha.  It took about hour and a half to get the tent up the wind was crazy! Mum was right it was a beautiful place, we were even staying at the campsite they went to as children. It was quite busy lots of people around we took Blake swimming for the first time and I was impressed he loved it! We have a pool up the road so I think ill have to take him up there to see if we ave a fish in the family!

We went into Looe and looked around the shops, had the most amazing fish and chips, and walked to the beach, the weather was rather disappointing on the Monday and Tuesday but we made the best of it,  Tia and Blake made some friends on the last day, Angel and Harvey they were lovely and the weather took a turn for the better, I think Auntie Dawn was looking down on us, We decided to go to another beach area called Tallard Bay and it turned out Angel and Harvey were going too. When we found a spot to sit I pondered on what I could do to honor my Auntie Dawn as it was a year ago that day since we lost her. we decided to write her name in the sand and took a picture. It was a camping holiday to remember bring on next year!!

We have been home a week or so now, and the summer holidays are nearly over! This September Blake starts Pre-School, So this week I arranged his settling in days for this week. He has had his first session he was quite excited in the morning but when Me and Tia were going to leave he was a little unsure, so we had to sneak out when he wasn't looking. Me and Tia had some girly time and I treated her to chocolate milkshake at one of the local cafe's I didn't want to go to far away silly really... its hard to let go isn't it? I am actually glad I had Tia with me, I think it will be odd when he goes in September full time what will I do??? he isn't a baby anymore he's a little dude with a cool hair cut :)

Today we went to Salisbury Hospital Blake's 3 year check, it went pretty well, but he really wasn't happy about having anyone looking in his ears he thought it was going to hurt bless him ! We were a little late so someone went in before us so Blake and Tia got to sample the new play area while we waited. Now that Blake is three we had to go somewhere different for his hearing test, so that also meant a new nurse, Blake was a little anxious at first and didn't want to co-operate at first, till she got the new game out! he sat on Chris's knee, for the test he had put something in a tub every time he heard the noise he did well, and I think he won the nurse over with his cheeky grin :) he even let her test his ears at the end with a special machine.

Next we went on to Speech therapy unit, We saw Mr Geyer who is Blake's ENT Consultant We discussed the hearing test and his future options and we both agreed that at this time we feel hes doing well even though he still has fluid in his left ear its worth waiting to see what happens with the glue ear, currently his speech isn't so much being affected by this, Me and Chris as his parents think Blake's coming along very well with his speech, words and sentences this is something we are constantly on top of and we tend to notice when things change, cant tell you all how proud I am of Blake and it just goes to show you your child having a cleft is not the end of the world! there is light at the end of the tunnel.

We have been on Mr Cadier's waiting list for a year now and still haven't received an appointment so Mr Geyer went to have this addressed this with the Cleft team, while we saw the speech therapist  Blake was great and again she was happy with Blake and said she did not feel he needed to see anyone regarding speech outside of the hospital, but obviously if we has any worries to contact her and the team for advice or a meeting. We then saw out Cleft nurse Nicola who has been with us from the get go, shes brilliant its always so nice to see her she is part of our secure cleft bubble she is fantastic with Blake. She has told us that there are two possible op dates available one in November and another in December! the thing is one is with a new surgeon Marc Swan (awesome name by the way) or Mr Cadier and our first choice is Mr Cadier for obvious reasons only thing is the dates 23rd December ......

AND breath....... not to worry I'm pretty organized :) but does that mean Blake cant eat Christmas dinner? I will have to ask in the next meeting on the 10th September it's always GO GO GO GO.... in our house.

P.S Chris and I had our 1st wedding anniversary in May :)
and I celebrated my 30th Birthday with friend and family!!

So guys  hope you look forward to my next post !! as Dora says from Nemo...

''keep on swimming keep on swimming''

Happy New Year!!!

Hello everyone! Firstly I would like to say....

'HAPPY NEW YEAR!'

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are ready for the new year! We had a lovely quiet Christmas just the four of us this year, the kids were spoilt by Santa and I was spoilt by my wonderful husband who made Christmas Dinner!! My parents couldn't make it this year So it was quiet with out my Dad (Grandpapeee) snoring/growling in his sleep on the couch after Christmas dinner... ! No hangovers for me or Chris either, we learnt our lesson from last year thank the lord! It was a wonderful day and the kids loved it, which is what christmas is all about, Blake seemed to enjoy unwrapping his presents! I will actually miss hearing him say 'Christmas tree' as it was so adorable.

Not long after writing my last post Blake got his Audio test appointment through, Tia is in full time school now so she didn't get to come which made her sad, but we explained it was just another Audio test and Blake would be OK! We didn't have to wait long when we got to Salisbury hospital which is always a bonus. I went into the sound proof room with Blake and it was the same routine as before, he has to interact with the toys on the table and when he was playing the noises start.

It is hard to describe the noise I guess I would say it was like the sounds they would use for an old space movie ray gun lol!! low at first and then it gets high and well I must say I was impressed! Blake actually turned towards the noise when it was really low and he was rewarded by a box lighting up and a mechanical soft toy starting to move and Blake shouts ''Look mummy it's a moo'cow'' He actually did well through out the test! Much better than last time.

Before the test I had noticed he has started to pronounce his 'T's' again, Blake started to tell me a lot that his ears have been hurting and I started to wonder if an ear infection had been the reason why he sometimes  wasn't  pronouncing  his words as he usually did. So we had a visit to the GP, She confirmed that they were congested, but they usually are so I was told to give him calpol as and when he needed it.  

All is well now and he has begun using the letter 'D' again, In fact he is saying a lot of words clearly, and he loves counting!! he does babble away a lot I call this his minion speak (despicable me) as we not sure what he is saying then he will do this rather funny laugh just like the minions do its so funny!! (you should hear him singing!) he has a wonderful personality and he is very sweet but at the moment he is going through those terrible dreaded twos!!! so he's no Angel at the moment, but I wouldn't change him for the world love him to the moon and back :)

Well Just before Christmas we received a letter from the Hospital  it was about the recent Audio test Blake had as we were concerned his glue ear was getting worse. The letter has stated that Blake does still have Glue ear, but they don't feel he needs to have Grommets fitted at this time, which I believe is a good thing so now we just have to wait for a letter regarding Blake's second lip surgery, which will probably be after hes turned three. 

It seems as though there has been a lot of upset in the CLAPA Community over the past few months before Christmas regarding terminology and debates, and I am very glad it is all well now. It seems a shame this happened, But I think we all need to accept that everyone has there own views and opinions about certain things. We can only educate those who do not understand how we feel individually on what terms we want to use in regrades to our children. We can only love and support each other in the CLAPA community,  people should not fall out its a support network and its a very good one. 

We all have the same thing in common and that is our Children and we want to protect them, but we cant angry about using terms there will always be there and there are ever changing like everything the world turns.  When it boils down to it, the support from you all has been amazing and through it I think I have made some great friends. Love you guys!!!

2013 went so fast and it had lots of highs and major lows, We are all still grieving for the loss of two family members, and this will take a long time, something we may never get over.  Christmas was very hard. 

It is now 2014   I would like to take this opportunity to say Congratulations to my cousin Tom and his wife Kerry because this year they are expecting there third child! :) 

Very happy for them. 

CONGRATULATIONS! :)

Mr & Mrs Fenton !!!

Hi there everyone! So we are now all hold the same name!! We are the Fenton's, Our Wedding Day was amazing! something we will always remember and treasure thank you to everyone that attended our special day and a massive thank you to my bridesmaids you all looked beautiful. We had a wonderful Honeymoon in Tunisia for a week my parents had Tia and Blake after we jetted off the day after the wedding, Mum and Dad took them to Yorkshire, and my brother John stayed at our house to look after the animals. It was a lovely break and the weather was amazing, we ate till we were stuffed, sunbathed by the pool ( and got very burnt) walked along the beach and even went on a camel.... which for me wasn't the best experience as I was thrown onto the camel's hump and on that hump I stayed.. I had quite a sore bottom for a few days lol.

I actually started to find being away from the children quite hard and was missing them terribly.
When we got home we had a day before setting up to Yorkshire to get Tia and Blake, so we spent the day sleeping. When we got to Yorkshire we found out that the kids had been ill most of the week, they had both had the sickness bug going around so we were disappointed they had not had the holiday they were looking forward too, my mum said  'don't worry we had them at there worst and we coped, we didn't want you to worry while you were on honeymoon'  We could only stay for a couple of days because we had to get back, Blake had a check up with the Cleft team and Mr Cadier at the end of May. We tried to make the most of the time up there, when we got back home and sat down the realization sank in that we got married!!!

Mr & Mrs Fenton 18th May 2013

There was more planning to be done after the wedding! and that was for Blake's 2nd Birthday!! We decided to have a party at home as funds were limited after the wedding of the year! :) We decided on a Mr Potato Head theme as Blake loves Toy Story at the moment and he loves his Mr potato head, the party rule was 'Everyone must be donning a Mustache!!'
Chris sister (Auntie Clare) came down from Yorkshire just for the special occasion! I think she rather suits a mustache, she looks brilliant and she was a great help on the day she so good with the kids, I couldn't ask for a better sister in law! Thank you Clare :)
I must say it was a fantastic day and everyone joined in and there was lots of laughs and there were quite a few guests which made it so much fun. Thank you to everyone that came! Cant believe my little man  is 2 years old already.

Although we are now a complete family unit and in the early stages of being married, things have started off on a very sad note, just before the Wedding we found out that my Auntie Dawn had Leukemia again, she fought and beat this when she was just 26 and whilst caring for my Uncle Bob who was battling cancer also this came as a massive blow to our family. If you have read my blog before you may remember it was my Auntie Dawn who I rang for Advice after I had my 20 week scan, she was one of the first people I told about Blake's Cleft lip & Palate. I felt totally gutted and angry that this could happen to two of the most amazing people I know.

Blake's Hospital appointment came and we set off to Salisbury to meet with the cleft team. It went really well, but I expressed my concerns about Blake's hearing as he had stopped pronouncing his T's and D's he has started saying 'ere' instead of  'Tia' and 'goggy' instead of 'doggy'  I was worried his hearing had got worse and wasn't improving. We had his ears checked and fluid could still be seen which meant he still had glue ear I asked if we could arrange a follow up hearing test as I thought his hearing maybe the reason to his change in speech and everyone agreed, Mr Cadier suggested that if Blake needs grommets fitted he would probably put his second lip surgery forward and do it at the same time, (they want to level the back of the top lip) that way he only goes under anesthetic the once.

The speech therapist suggested we go in the next room and have a chat with Blake to see where he was at. She picked up on the same things we had. So an appointment was made to see one of her team to assess Blake and how he was doing. We treated the kids to lunch in Salisbury all in all it was a good day. A week later we got an appointment to see the speech therapist, we were not expecting it so quick, Blake did really well in the appointment she gave him lots of items to play with and he showed understanding of what they were and what they were used for......' I think she was pleased with his progress and maybe a little impressed with him.' he liked her tractor best !!! He can defiantly say tractor  lol She told us she will hopefully refer us to a speech therapist in our area for further help with his speech development. We are still waiting for the hearing test its been a few months now so we will have to chase it up.

The week after me and Chris arranged to go see my Auntie Dawn she was under going chemotherapy at Basingstoke hospital. My Cousin Leeann had the kids for me, Leeann is my Auntie Dawn's Daughter who I really look up to and admire she is also amazing! Tia couldn't wait to see little Holly! but Tia wanted to visit Auntie Dawn too but we had to explain that  she was not aloud in as she was in a special room. We set off to see her she was located on the Wessex Ward, it was great to see her we told her about Blake's appointments, She was always interested to hear about Blake's progress, She thanked me for the photo and Wedding cake, we had given them to my mum to give her as she couldn't make the Wedding, My Wedding photographer (Lorraine Hunter) took a special picture and had it printed while were were having photos on Gold Hill in Shaftesbury, The shop was closed and the owner opened to have it printed just for her. (nobody new that till now!)

My Auntie Dawn was very down she hadn't seen my Uncle Bob for weeks and was really missing him, the nurse came in as we were there and said that she could go see him that day, me and Chris offered to take her there and then so she would have more time with him and they agreed, we took her home. My Uncle Bob looked very different it was a shock to be honest, it was the first time I had seen him since he had been diagnosed the year before, but I went over and gave him a big kiss on the check, We chatted for a while then we got ready to go we wanted them to have time alone, Uncle Bob thanked us for bringing her to see him....I said 'uncle bob it was an honor' and it really was I have never know such love they have been married for 36 years and never been apart.  I left with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. That was the last time I saw my Uncle Bob.

He passed away on the 17th July 2013. My Auntie Dawn and her family gave him a wonderful send off. It was quite hard to see so many people in so much pain. Auntie Dawn had been under going a second round of chemotherapy. It had not worked, this was bad news the whole family was devastated. Auntie Dawn was a fighter She was so strong a real inspiration she also new her own mind and what she wanted.

Two weeks after my Uncle's funeral The Heart of our entire family  Dawn Frost passed away in her home after contracting pneumonia. Devastated is not big enough an emotion to describe the loss of such a beautiful person. My cousins and there children gave her a wonderful send off she would be so proud. I know I am,
I love them all so so much.
Family is so important so is life. I hope our marriage and life is as full just like their's was. It was real love, it was not perfect, but there was Happiness , Sadness, Laughter, Hope, Joy, Fun, and most importantly full of Love.
So I must thank my Husband for all his support these last few months, for the tears, anger, regret, and stress I have caused. You are amazing and I love you.

I dedicate this post to Dawn Frost & Robin Frost.

                                       
                                       

Dawn Frost

Together Forever.

    I will treasure every memory of our time together, and you will live on in the hearts of family and friends.

We know you will be watching over us all.

We know that your both together again, no more pain, 

but we cant lie, you both should still be hear with us, 

  Cancer.... we hate you.

If you would like to make a donation to macmillan or Cancer Research please click on the link below
http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Home.aspx

http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/home/

Thanks x